My first true meditation was probably the scariest thing I have ever done. In the beginning it was scary as hell just trying to meditate. My mind would become completely black and I would get the sensation that I ( my mind) was flying through absolute darkness for miles and miles and eventually I would always come to this place where I knew that if I kept going I would go over a cliff and that kept me horrified for a long time. I tried many forms of meditation. Strangely but not really …I was taught meditation by a piano teacher. One day I had the notion to try piano lessons. I was in Europe at the time. Somehow the instructor and I got away from the piano and into meditation? I mean she put me through a ritual with blessings etc. You know all the pomp and circumstance that a dramatic and very significant event should have I suppose. I remember she had me come to her place and she had the candles going and meditation music and there was this big ass sunflower. I found that sunflower to be intriguing for some reason. I forgot what she told me the sunflower meant. Anyway…she told me that what I was about to be taught was called transcendental meditation. This is the meditation that I use today. I later did some research and discovered that there had been studies and tests done on this particular type of meditation. Results showed mind blowing differences in students intelligence after a few months of this type of meditation. Now I’m not 100% certain this is exactly what I was taught. I do believe it is close to what I was taught. It had the same name. Transcendental meditation. I assume ( yeah I know) that what I was taught… only someone who was where I was at the time in their spiritual journey would receive. I mean…it was meant that a piano teacher would teach me meditation? She never taught me piano? I have been teaching myself piano (finally) for the last 2 years. I was given a special word to chant and think about. This special word is what I’m not sure if others would receive or not because of the occult. The art of this particular type of meditation is not to try to stop or control the thoughts but to simply witness them. To let them flow and simply observe them. The word given was used as an anchor to bring one back if they drifted to far into thought. The word reminded one that they were meditating and it acted as the tonal center. Probably after a few months I didn’t chant so much verbally as mentally. Today I rarely if ever chant verbally. So….I noticed that after receiving this teaching on meditation I could feel that something was indeed happening with me internally. I used to be extremely afraid in my attempts to meditate because of the darkness and that cliff. I would always come out of it sweating and shaking when I reached that cliff because that cliff was like death and at the time I feared it greatly. After doing this new form of meditation for a while I noticed my courage growing and I swore that one day I’d go over that cliff. Today I realize that even while my mind was being hurled through that darkness (space) I was indeed in some degree of meditation. Even before I met the piano teacher. I never counted it as meditation though. It to me was like going to the store at 2 am in the middle of gang territory. You’re not at the store until you get there. In my mind I wasn’t in meditation until I let myself fall off of that cliff into that forevermore darkness? Meditation to me was what happened the day I went over that cliff. I used to have nightmares about what was beyond that cliff and I’d awake petrified. Now….understand: I never saw a cliff? I only sensed a cliff. I sensed that if I traveled any further I’d plunge over a cliff into even greater darkness. Yes….believe it when I say that my very first experience of meditation was probably the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. I once sat at a train stop awaiting the command to end it all just to prove my willingness and worthiness to go beyond? I have been in initiations where I thought I would die and I gave up my life willingly. Alas they were only tests and they were never as scary as that cliff. Eventually I went over. It surely was another moment for me…in this lifetime….where I literally died. So….I am writing this post so that my fellow meditators understand that they should not try to restrict their thoughts in any way during meditation. Only observe them. Witness them. In this way we can discuss and experiment and grow. If you are trying not to have thoughts during meditation….you are doing it wrong. Just choose a word as your “anchor” and let the thoughts flow freely while gently saying or thinking your anchor word. OM will do for now. In our group discussions I am your anchor. Now there have been many articles written on the benefits of meditation so I will not list the many benefits available. I will mention 2 major and most important benefits. 1. Meditation is the bridge to God and God consciousness. 2. Meditation disrupts the Matrix. Without meditation the impossible will always be impossible. Before I end I will give you another excellent meditation to do on your own. It is called “The Think away”. Sit in a chair that allows you to sit straight. Close your eyes. Place your hands on your lap and touch the thumbs of each hand with the pointer finger of each hand and begin to think away your body parts. Think away the feet. Think away the ankle and calves. Think away the knees. Do this until you reach and think away the head. If successful you will become pure mind in an ocean of black space. This is how you travel. The cliff is a landmark. If you get there you have accomplished a great deed.
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